5 Ways to Support Someone Who is Feeling Anxious or Experiencing a Panic Attack
So often I hear from people struggling with anxiety that they feel like nobody knows how to help, or understands what they're going through. So I created this episodes in hopes that you can share it with your support system, so that they can better understand how to support you and know what to do when you’re feeling anxious.
So, if you find yourself here as the supporter, I just want to say a few things to you before we dive in…
The fact that you’re here shows how much you care, and that’s already a huge step. Supporting someone with anxiety or panic can be really tough, especially if you’ve never experienced it yourself. It’s normal to feel confused, frustrated, or even overwhelmed at times. And that’s okay! You’re human too, so be sure to take care of yourself while you’re helping your loved one. Remember, you don’t need to fully understand their anxiety to be a good support system. It’s more about making them feel heard and validated.
Let’s jump into some tips to help you do just that!
01. Be present and listen rather than trying to fix. When someone is feeling anxious, scared, or uncomfortable, I think we all have the tendency to want to jump into “fix it mode.” Instead, let them express their feelings—whether it’s anxiety, frustration, or fear—and simply hold space for them. A simple, “I’m here with you,” goes a long way. Feeling heard and validated is what truly helps.
02. Validate their feelings and their experience. Focus on acknowledging what your loved one is going through, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. Saying something like, “I’m sorry you’re struggling, I know this is hard,” shows empathy and support. It’s all about making them feel heard and understood, which is far more helpful than trying to minimize their anxiety.
And when validating your loved ones emotions and experiencies, you can also say something like, “Your thoughts/fears/worries aren’t silly.” Because honestly, we’re all worried that we sound silly, crazy, and ridiculous at times, right? It it always feel nice to hear that this isn’t the case.
03. Be calm, encouraging, and share supportive words. When you’re feeling anxious, it can be incredibly relieving and helpful to just have someone in your presence who is calm and reassuring.
Some encouraging and supportive words can sound something like this…
It’s okay that you’re feeling anxious.
This clearly feels really uncomfortable but you’re safe.
I know this is hard, and you’re doing a really good job working through this.
I’m proud of you. You’re doing a great job.
These things are validating, expressing empathy, reminding them of their strengths and abilities for working through hard things… And speaking of reminding them of their strengths, that’s the next tip!
04. Remind them of their strengths and abilities for working through hard things. When someone is in an anxious moment and really struggling, it’s so easy to quickly go down the hole of… I’m screwed. This is gonna be bad. I’m losing all control. So as the supporter, it’ll be really helpful for you to remind them of past situations in which they successfully worked through an anxious moment or panic attack. Sometimes we all need a little reminder that our ability to cope with hard things is much higher than we ever give ourselves credit for.
05. Ask them… What’s helpful for you when you’re feeling anxious? How can I best support you? This last one is really for outside of anxious moments. I encourage you to talk the person you’re supporting and ask them this question and see what comes up. It might take some time to work this out, so keeping communication open and working with each other is going to be an ongoing process and it’ll take a little time, patience, and lots of love.
Alright, I hope you’ve found this to be helpful. Whether you're sharing this with a loved one, or supporting someone who is struggling, you are doing a great job and remember to take care of yourself in this process too.
Until next time, keep taking healthy action!
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