Anxiety Success Story - Brittany's Journey to Overcoming Panic Attacks
Let’s talk about Brittany, a mom from Pennsylvania with such a relatable and inspiring story! We first connected in January 2024 when Brittany joined Panic to Peace, and she has been such an amazing person to get to know, connect with and to support on her journey.
Brittany has been living with anxiety for what feels like forever, but it wasn’t always something she recognized. For years, she kept herself ridiculously busy—working two jobs, commuting long distances, and filling her weekends with endless activities. It wasn't until she met her now husband that something shifted. For the first time, Brittany started to slow down, and it wasn't long after that she experienced her first panic attack.
Brittany's first panic attack seemed to come out of the blue. She was in the car, and the experience was so intense that her husband suggested going to the hospital, but instead, they went home, where he gently suggested she might’ve had a panic attack.
This is such a common experience for those suffering with panic disorder and panic attacks. It can feel like they come out of no where, and often they pop up when you finally start to slow down and drop the coping mechanisms you've been using for so long.
Over time, anxiety started creeping into more parts of Brittany's life. Driving, which used to be a source of independence, became much more difficult. With the pandemic, and an isolated pregnancy, things started to feel worse. By last fall, Brittany felt like she’d hit rock bottom. Panic attacks were happening daily, and she was terrified to leave the house.
While taking Panic to Peace, Brittany has been doing the work to heal, like getting back in the car and driving to places she loved, like the park with her daughter. At first, just pulling up to the park felt like a win, but little by little, Brittany started to enjoy these outings again.
A huge part of Brittany overcoming panic attacks was learning how to talk to herself. She started to acknowledge her feelings, and finally gave herself permission to feel what she was feeling.
Today, Brittany is making lots of progress with consistent, small healthy steps. She’s driving again, tackling challenges like going through the CVS drive-through (which, by the way, she totally nailed), and she’s showing up for her daughter in ways that she once thought she couldn’t.
Brittany’s journey is ongoing, but she’s got the tools, the support, and most importantly, the self-compassion to keep moving forward. And that, my friends, is what makes her story so powerful. Make sure you tune into the full episode to hear all the goodness!
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TRANSCRIPT
00:02.42
ahealthypush
Okay, we have another Panic 2 Peace student here.
00:04.79
Brittany
thank
00:06.54
ahealthypush
And I'm so, so happy to be sitting down with Brittany. Brittany took Panic 2 Peace in January 2024. So this year, I think it started at the end, maybe the maybe early February, and then we finished in April, like mid to late April.
00:19.62
Brittany
You're
00:24.42
ahealthypush
And we're having this conversation at the very end of June 2024. So
00:28.46
Brittany
welcome.
00:29.30
ahealthypush
I am very excited to welcome you, Brittany, and to talk to you and just get into all the things. But first, let's just start off with tell us a little bit about you.
00:41.70
Brittany
Hi, thanks for having me.
00:44.49
ahealthypush
Yeah.
00:44.62
Brittany
um I am Brittany. I live in Pennsylvania. I am a mom to an almost four year old. um And I live with my husband. i I've had anxiety for a really long time.
01:04.39
ahealthypush
we are going to get into all that right
01:04.41
Brittany
Yes.
01:07.56
Brittany
yeah
01:08.75
ahealthypush
You are like just one of those people. I swear, everyone who comes into the program, i'm like we connect. We have so much in common. like So many people within the group have so much in common. And you have just been such an amazing person to get to know and to connect with and to support on your journey. i And your daughter is so freaking cute.
01:27.98
Brittany
and your daughter
01:30.37
ahealthypush
um But let's just start with, I know you've said right ive anxiety has been the and part of the picture for a long time, but when was it that you were like, okay, this this is like a thing?
01:44.64
Brittany
Yeah, I think I've definitely always had anxiety, but I didn't recognize it because um With my childhood trauma, um I guess what I've later learned about myself, I didn't know this at the time, was that I just threw myself into busyness, productivity, like getting things done. That's how I feel like I'm like distracting my brain. That's how I feel like I'm worthy of things. so like I have pretty much always worked two jobs. um I was on my own at 18, so right off the bat, I started with two jobs just to make sure I could
02:22.42
Brittany
pay to live but so I was always so busy like jokes about me being like hyper and just never stopping like go go go I worked the two jobs I would always keep myself super busy on the weekends like as soon as like work was done I would go out drinking with my friends like I kept so busy that I didn't really know that excited or that that was even like a coping mechanism really um I would say that I first
02:47.01
ahealthypush
Yeah.
02:51.48
Brittany
I guess my first panic attack really just sent me through. oh and I and met my now husband and he's very chill. He's my complete opposite in a million eyes.
03:03.97
ahealthypush
People always say that. It's always that like somebody has struggled with anxiety for so long and then the other person's just like, what is anxiety?
03:09.37
Brittany
Total opposite.
03:12.93
Brittany
Yeah, total opposite. like He's just like, wait, why do you care what they think? I'm like, what? I'm like, you like don't care what they think at all?
03:18.01
ahealthypush
Yeah.
03:21.00
Brittany
boom So when I met him, we started dating and he's just like a very calming person for me. Like we just, even though we're so opposite, we just really clicked and we just were having so much fun together. And I really started to like, like relax, like not, I don't say I'm chill, fine but you know what I mean?
03:40.36
ahealthypush
Right.
03:42.17
Brittany
Like I got more like, Oh, like I can sit and do nothing. Like I don't have to be busy 24 seven. I could have a day where I, relax with my boyfriend. And something happened at some point where we were out with friends and I started freaking out in the car, which it never happened. I mean, part of my craziness with my work is that I also commute to New York City, which I did, which is like an hour and a half without traffic. So like I was always in the car, nothing fazed me really.
04:08.41
ahealthypush
she
04:13.27
Brittany
And I never had an issue with the car. Like I was super independent. um I flew across the country by myself, drove everywhere. I used to drive to Long Island, which is the four plus hour drive with traffic. I was never afraid of a car, but something happened this day. And I don't know, I was like, something's wrong, something's wrong. I won't go through all of the symptoms, but it was like, I felt like I was dying. So we eventually got after multiple stops, like everyone was like, Oh, like you have motion sickness. Maybe you're pregnant. Like it's not these things. Like something is wrong. I'm dying. So I actually, and I don't have, like, I don't actually have health anxiety, shockingly everything else. But so I wasn't like a freed of like that. I was like something just, I knew it was wrong, you know?
05:02.94
Brittany
So we're in a parking lot and I'm rolling around on the ground. Like that's like, what was that? Like I did not care that this parking lot was full of people. And my husband now, like the time he was like, I could tell he was so scared. He was like, do you want me to take you to the hospital? Like he'd never seen me like this. I'd never been like this. Um, and I'm like, just, I just want to be with you. Like, so they brought us back to our car. They got me in the car. I got back to our car. I could feel myself calming down a little bit. We got back to our house because he was like, are you sure you don't like him?
05:35.35
Brittany
I'll take you to the hospital. I'm like, not right now. Like, just get me home and we'll like assess there.
05:39.74
ahealthypush
Yeah.
05:40.89
Brittany
I got home. He puts a blanket on me. He makes me a tea and I'm like feeling better.
05:46.83
ahealthypush
Ah.
05:46.99
Brittany
And he came over to me with this phone with the list of symptoms. And he was like, babe, I think you had a panic attack. And I was like, what? That's ridiculous. Like, why? Like, doesn't even make sense. Um, So I think that's what's going on here. So yeah, I decided to do therapy. Um, I was just like, yeah, like my life was good. I mean like this and this and this. And the therapist was like, Oh, okay. Sit down. She's like, you know, we had this like good conversation. And after a little while, you know, she kind of like explained to me that like, because I felt
06:28.15
Brittany
safe for the first time in my life it was bringing up this like this you know this anxious feeling yeah so it was like a volcano i just erupted and then i was like oh my god well now i'm really scared like what what when will i have panic attacks like i was doing something i wanted to do i was hanging out with friends like what'
06:31.09
ahealthypush
a
06:34.68
ahealthypush
Yeah, all that stuff that you were, yeah, all that stuff that you were keeping busy and and kind of avoiding, right?
06:56.96
Brittany
what's next. And it was also just weird to think about how like finally finding a place where you actually feel safe um would make you start having anxiety because I didn't know that keeping that busy was really just protecting me from feeling because I mean, I'm a really highly sensitive person so like it doesn't to me seem like I'm avoiding my feelings because I cry like every day like I'm very open about my feelings I'll talk about my feelings so I didn't realize that I was avoiding feelings at the same time you know so
07:27.66
ahealthypush
um
07:31.39
ahealthypush
Yeah, it's I'm so glad that you shared that because I think a lot of people have had that experience, right, of I just had this panic attack and it really honestly it came out of the middle of nowhere. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what was happening. And i and it's like, what the heck? But you know, it can be some of that, right?
07:48.60
Brittany
Yeah.
07:51.34
ahealthypush
Like your body, you finally are starting to slow down. You feel like more of this sense of safety and all this stuff sort of just comes bubbling up because you're not using all these coping mechanisms that you've been using for so long.
08:01.97
Brittany
hi Yeah.
08:07.52
ahealthypush
I mean, I know we sort of breezed past it, and I don't want to, and I hope that you're okay with talking a little bit more about it. Because when you had this panic attack in the car, and you were like, I truly feel like I'm dying, like, what were you experiencing?
08:18.99
Brittany
You were like.
08:21.57
Brittany
yeah
08:23.16
ahealthypush
Like, do you feel comfortable sharing that?
08:24.67
Brittany
Yeah, yeah, I only didn't just because I feel like I don't want to like I don't ever like to like scare anybody.
08:28.64
ahealthypush
Right, yep.
08:31.77
Brittany
But I mean, I was really scared because like like I said, I mean, I've flown a across the country by myself a million times. Like I was like waiting to jump out of a plane before, but then it got canceled because the wind like I didn't have like fear, like My heart rate goes up all the time. Roller coasters, like all the things. but But something about this time felt like it felt weird. Like I felt a heat rush through my body.
08:53.54
ahealthypush
a
08:53.78
Brittany
My heart was pounding out of my chest. So much so that I was like actually paying attention to my like my watch. Like that was like telling me my heart rate was high. And I'm like, what is going on? Like I don't feel comfortable. So I wanted to get out of the car first. So we stopped in a parking lot. And then like, I just, I really mostly remember the heat in my body. Like I imagine that it's what a hot flash feels like.
09:13.97
ahealthypush
Yeah.
09:15.18
Brittany
Cause it was like, it was so, and then the heart, and then I was starting to feel like I was going to maybe pass out, which was not a feeling I was familiar with.
09:17.57
ahealthypush
Yep.
09:25.41
Brittany
And I was like, what happens if I pass out? Like I don't even know, like am I going to fall over? So I was, it was really important to me to get on the ground. Like I guess it was just looking at my natural reaction for grounding, but I didn't even like realize that. Um, I just like needed.
09:39.67
ahealthypush
Isn't that so interesting?
09:40.50
Brittany
and brown
09:41.20
ahealthypush
Yeah, that's so wild to me. And you're like one of many that has shared that, that like my instinct when I had the panic attack was get grounded. And people of course will say, I looked like a crazy person.
09:50.71
Brittany
Yeah.
09:54.15
ahealthypush
Like I literally, I've had others tell me this too.
09:54.45
Brittany
Yeah.
09:57.11
ahealthypush
I've got, I got out of my car. I was literally on the side of the road and I like took my shoes off, right?
10:00.11
Brittany
Yeah.
10:01.55
ahealthypush
Like literally laid on the ground. And it's such a funny thing that our bodies will instinctually tell us like this is what I need right now.
10:08.07
Brittany
yeah
10:09.74
ahealthypush
So that's so interesting, but I'm sure you were just like, oh dear God, like what it is going on?
10:10.85
Brittany
Yeah.
10:15.03
Brittany
yeah And I was so embarrassed. And then, and like we had stopped in like just those random bar parking lot that we were driving past.
10:17.96
ahealthypush
Yeah.
10:22.14
Brittany
So it was just like someone's going to come out and see me. This is so bad.
10:24.72
ahealthypush
Right.
10:26.03
Brittany
But then I got back in the car because I pushed through because oh, I'm also a people pleaser.
10:30.90
ahealthypush
Uh.
10:31.05
Brittany
So I was like, okay, I'll go back and ruin everyone's night. You know, so I kept pushing. And I was just like, I kept looking at CJ and I was like, I'm not good. Like something is wrong. Like now I feel like I'm going to throw up, you know, and nobody wanted to ruin their night except for CJ was like ready to go, but we weren't driving.
10:44.02
ahealthypush
Yum.
10:49.23
Brittany
And, um, so then they were like, maybe it's motion sickness. And then I went into the Wawa and got myself dramatic. And I went in the bathroom was like splashing cold water on myself. And then I just, I still wasn't feeling right. Um, and so then in order to get back home, One of them was like, do you want like air conditioning on you? It wasn't hot outside. It was like, it was the fall, but I was like, maybe. So I sat up front. I had the air conditioning on full blast and that kept me like, you okay.
11:16.31
ahealthypush
Yeah.
11:19.88
Brittany
like And it was like, okay.
11:20.43
ahealthypush
Yeah. Yeah.
11:22.51
Brittany
So I was like trembling like this in their front seat, like rocking back and forth. Crazy. Um, until we got back. And once we got back in my car and CJ was driving. I could feel a little bit of relief. And I was like, I just kept apologizing, of course. And he was like, please, there's no reason to apologize. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm just crying because I just like feel like, I feel like so weird. Like I feel like I lost control. Like not for one second did I think panic attack. That wasn't even like on my radar.
11:51.78
ahealthypush
Yeah.
11:53.58
Brittany
You know what I mean? That wasn't even like possibility. and So yeah.
11:57.40
ahealthypush
No, it's just like death, instant death, like I am dying. Yeah, yeah.
12:01.41
Brittany
Yeah.
12:02.52
ahealthypush
So I, I think it's important to mention here, right? Because a lot of people have had this experience where this one panic attack happens, whether you're driving, you're in a store, maybe you're even at home, and you're just like, what the heck, right? And it's sort of, then leads you on this journey of being really fearful of panic.
12:19.51
Brittany
Finally.
12:22.88
ahealthypush
You don't want it to happen again. You're really scared of it. You're just like, Oh my gosh, my body can go there. And now I'm really terrified. And you just, of course, get stuck on that sleep of like, let's make sure that never happens again.
12:30.46
Brittany
Yeah.
12:35.31
Brittany
Yes.
12:35.39
ahealthypush
And it can all feel like it's coming out of nowhere. Like, why did I have this panic attack? And I see a lot of people get hung up here. And it can just be like you shared, right? You, things are are finally calming down. You're not using so many like coping mechanisms. You're being in more stillness. You feel more safe. maybe there was just you know some stress, some overwhelm, and it just all came bubbling over.
13:00.67
Brittany
Yeah.
13:01.14
ahealthypush
you know There can be some other contributors, some other things that have been going on sort of in the background for a long time that can sort of cause this buildup and lead to it you know because a lot of people will say, well I don't have that trauma. you know I don't have childhood trauma. I don't have this. I don't have that." and it's like It doesn't necessarily have to be.
13:19.75
Brittany
yeah
13:21.43
ahealthypush
right and Even if it is, it doesn't mean we need to go back through all that and we need to really dig into that in order to get through the panic because for most people, you really get stuck in the panic loop because you're afraid to panic and you're trying to make sure it doesn't happen and you will do anything to make sure it doesn't happen.
13:38.97
Brittany
thank you
13:39.70
ahealthypush
so I'm curious, how long ago was that that first panic attack that you had?
13:45.29
Brittany
That was in 2017, in October of 2017.
13:48.40
ahealthypush
Gotcha.
13:50.77
ahealthypush
Okay. And then what what did things start to look like after that?
13:52.29
Brittany
Yeah.
13:56.61
Brittany
and So Ben, to be honest, I was like ah was pretty okay after the that. like I was still commuting to New York. I i didn't feel like, like it did scare me, but it didn't, Like now it was in my head, but it didn't like fully affect me yet. Um, it made me a little bit, like I was a little bit rocky about doing things for a few weeks. I was kind of like, Oh, like I think I just want to stay home or like staying close to CJ. Um, which is also a really weird fear and feeling for me because I am like hyper independent, but I've never depended on on anyone. And I was kind of like, Oh, like I really, like his, this relationship was different than anything else. And so I was like, Oh no.
14:36.06
Brittany
I don't want to, like, be away from him.
14:37.54
ahealthypush
Yeah.
14:37.94
Brittany
But that, like, was like a little while. And then I would say probably I dealt with, like, a little bit of things for a year or so. Maybe, like, 2019-ish, i um I had a panic attack in the car on the way to New York. Like, I'll make a meal.
14:57.59
ahealthypush
a
14:59.58
Brittany
Like I had been building, like I had started having a little bit of trouble in the car, but it was weird. It took a while. And then it like, I started to be like, wait, this could happen in the car again.
15:09.24
ahealthypush
Yeah.
15:09.42
Brittany
And I think I started negotiating it with the car. So then, you know, I mean, I was commuting, you know, or I got like four or five in the morning, no one's on the road. Like, so the first time it happened, I was like, I got to turn around. Um, I missed a meeting at work. So that was like a big red flag because I'm a workaholic. So and everyone was like, you okay. Okay. And I was like, Oh, sorry. Like I don't feel good. And then I was like, Oh no, I can't do it again. So I started really having trouble in the car. Um, so I was like coming up with all the things like, like essential oils in the car, like a fidget spinner is like fidget toys, like a little square thing.
15:46.72
Brittany
I got Xanax. I'm like, okay, like what, what can we do here? Um, so I did fight through it a lot. Like there, I remember like being on like our stair bedroom floor and I was like getting ready to leave for New York and I'm like Googling, like tapping and I like all these things like a wet washcloth.
16:02.64
ahealthypush
Yep.
16:05.35
Brittany
I'm like, I need ice water bottles. Like I had like a list of things that I had to do and it just, it was getting harder and harder. Um, but luckily I was able to do a lot of work from home. So. I was able to cut back on that drive, which was helpful. if But I started to like have a hard time driving far.
16:23.16
ahealthypush
Ugh.
16:28.12
Brittany
Then I got pregnant and the pandemic hit. I was pregnant right through the pandemic. I had a baby in July, and that was like really good for me to chill out while pregnant. like I had to slow down, so I was feeling good. um the whole like child, like having a child in the hospital during the pandemic was a horror.
16:52.79
ahealthypush
Mmm.
16:53.13
Brittany
Um, so that was just like all these new anxieties that were happening, like real scary. Um, like I didn't get to have a pregnancy where anyone got to see me, like I didn't get to have a shower. Like I felt like all of that was like hard. Um, but I don't think I realized how much it affected me until like the past year or so, as I've struggled to now, I have a hard time driving alone. Well, yeah, I guess I jumped ahead. So then like last fall, something happened um where I had a betrayal of like a really close friend and it was like really terrible thing. And um it really caught me off guard. And I think that I was sort of like grieving that loss, feeling like, oh my God, like a safe thing just like got ripped out from underneath me. um And I started having panic attacks every day, every day.
17:47.31
Brittany
And I was like, Oh my God, this is insane. Like I'm having them at home. Like I thought this was only like an in the car thing. So then it was like, if I'm having them in the car, this fear has like exploded. Cause that means that anywhere is, um, nowhere we safe, you know? So I think that, um, that was really bad.
18:03.56
ahealthypush
Yeah.
18:07.77
Brittany
And that was when I was like, okay, I'll have to buckle down. Like something has to give like, um, I, I did buy, um, I did like do your like one driving anxiety thing. I'm like, okay. Okay. Like I found this online. Like I'd found you on Instagram somehow. I was just like, I'll do anything. Like I'll take anything like all. Whatever like give me medicine, like anything to make this like this nightmare. And I was literally having my husband dragged me out of the house because I was so scared that I would never leave.
18:38.96
Brittany
I'm like, if you let me stay here, like I'm never going to leave.
18:39.62
ahealthypush
Wow.
18:41.67
Brittany
Like I'll get to. And this is kind of when I realized that like the whole like pandemic being home, like everything just escalated for me.
18:50.04
ahealthypush
Yeah.
18:50.15
Brittany
I started being more afraid to do the things that I love. Like, like for no reason, like I would just be like, I don't want to have a panic attack. I don't want to panic attack there. I don't want to have a panic attack there. I don't want to have a panic attack without anyone around me or anyone that I know. I can't drive by myself now all of a sudden. So it was like all these things just like took a while to like fully accumulate. And it was like this past fall.
19:13.50
Brittany
explosions. It was so, so bad.
19:17.20
ahealthypush
Yeah. Oh my gosh. i You can see right all these things sort of happening now, I'm sure, and seeing it very clearly of like, oh gosh, this makes so much sense why all this happened and how I sort of landed here. When you say that you know you were like sort of making your husband take you places and do things, that was because you were really scared like that you would not be able to leave.
19:33.38
Brittany
yeah
19:43.95
ahealthypush
like You would be housebound and you wouldn't go anywhere and do anything.
19:46.31
Brittany
Yeah. who
19:48.15
ahealthypush
with Was it okay like going places and doing things with him or was that still like really hard?
19:55.08
Brittany
Yeah, like, it wasn't comfortable because I wasn't like comfortable in my skin. Like I felt like just this anticipation constantly.
20:00.61
ahealthypush
Hmm.
20:04.81
Brittany
um But I felt so much bigger with him, you know, like, like When I think about my anxiety, like whenever like, you know, like my therapist or like a friend would be like, okay, but what exactly are you afraid of that will happen when you're in the car by yourself, you know? And I would be like, um, cause you know, it's like, what's the big deal? Like pull over, like just pull over, like take a little bit of time. And for whatever reason, like, I guess like my abandonment issues from when I was little, like, I don't know, like my thoughts were like, that I was just going to like pull over and like just disappear. Like.
20:36.88
Brittany
Like me and my husband, like i'm I make humor. A lot of things but we like joke about how like. and Like that I would just like explode into like something on the side of the street like it's because it wasn't like normal like like people have anxiety about accidents and stuff like that like that of course I'm afraid about like normal people are but it wasn't that it was like ah afraid that like I would just like panic and explode into glitter like that's what we started joking about that I was just an exploded to go there on the side of the road and no one ever seen me and like that's what I was afraid of so
20:52.96
ahealthypush
Yeah.
21:07.96
ahealthypush
Yeah.
21:09.31
Brittany
I don't know just like a culmination of all the things and like my fear of like abandonment and like finally feeling safe in life and um like a loved-in scene and like not wanting to lose that and just I don't know it was like all the things.
21:24.46
ahealthypush
Yeah, I mean, in all of this, right, quickly spiraled into you feeling like I can't trust myself. Like I can't trust my body. I don't trust that I'm going to be okay. You know, and going from being so independent to now this, I feel like I want somebody with me. I need somebody with me. I can't go here. I can't go there. I can't do things on my own. And your story is so similar to so many is right, like the pandemic hit. It really limited things, and it wasn't good.
21:56.59
ahealthypush
And I didn't really see it at the time how ah how much it was making things harder. But it was something that absolutely none of us had control of. And it caused a lot of people to feel that discomfort, that spiraling, that added control.
22:07.14
Brittany
Yeah.
22:13.34
ahealthypush
It makes so much sense. um So when last fall, when you're like shit at the fan, everything blew up. what What the heck did that look like?
22:22.17
Brittany
Oh my God, it was so bad. Yeah, like before that, like it was just my, my anxiety. What seemed like it was just like car related, you know? And so then like when the fall hit, it was just like, like having a panic attack at home was just such a like rug pulled out from underneath me.
22:33.34
ahealthypush
Yeah.
22:44.08
ahealthypush
Yeah.
22:44.23
Brittany
I was like, Oh my God, like this is my safe space.
22:47.32
ahealthypush
Right.
22:47.38
Brittany
So then I started being like, Like, nervous to go out to eat. Like, going out to eat is one of my favorite things. like Like, I love going out. I love, like, doing things. And so before, it was like, okay, we made it there.
22:59.21
ahealthypush
Hmm.
22:59.65
Brittany
So, like, once I get there in the car, then I'm like, done. Okay, so let's just go in and have fun. Let's just, like, get through that. So then, I was feeling, like, fear to even do the things that I was going to do. And that was like really scary. So like, I mean, like my daughter is in like a little class and every week they do little things and like, I don't want to miss anything with her. Like if that's my girl, like I don't, so like I would be like, I can't go. Like I'm like, I can't go. Cause one, panic attacks are awful. Two, they take so much out of you.
23:30.56
Brittany
Like you could just leave it a whole day after one.
23:30.91
ahealthypush
Mmhmm.
23:33.98
Brittany
So I would be like shaking and scared. thinking about her setup of her class and like where I could hide if I needed to or if I was panicking or how far the car had to be parked away. And I just um just would be so scared to do any of those things. And so, yeah, like like I said, I remember like one time just like shaking and crying, thinking, like how much is this going to take out of me? Sit in the car for 20 minutes and then be at her class. like I know I want to watch her, so I know it's going to be OK, but like is it?
24:05.12
Brittany
And I remember just like, please just drag me into the car.
24:05.34
ahealthypush
Right.
24:07.83
Brittany
And he was like, okay, like, are you sure? Like, you don't have to come. But I'm like, but I just know, like, I i i feel it. If I let myself push this off and I stopped going, like, because I think it's what I really had started to realize how much COVID affected me in just that isolation time, especially because I had a newborn. I had to say isolated even longer than other people because I was like, not getting, like, sick. So that time was just, panic attacks every night, I started marking them on the calendar.
24:38.65
Brittany
I started like getting in the shower, like cold showers with like my clothes on, like anything. Like I was really bad for this.
24:44.70
ahealthypush
Mm hmm.
24:46.25
Brittany
I wasn't eating. I was, I was afraid to eat, which had never happened before.
24:49.94
ahealthypush
Yeah.
24:51.13
Brittany
Um, it was, it was rock bottom. It was definitely rock bottom. It definitely felt like it was never going to get better. Like I was like, this is my life now. Like how am I going to like take care of my baby girl? Like I, I just.
25:05.25
ahealthypush
Yeah.
25:05.29
Brittany
It was very, very dark. It was a dark, dark time.
25:09.39
ahealthypush
Yeah.
25:09.42
Brittany
But I'm only smiling about it now to not cry, you know?
25:12.59
ahealthypush
Of course. I mean, I remember you joining the program and like you said so many times in the group, like, how did I get here? Like, I was so just go and do and didn't really think about it. And you were just so, so down on the fact that things didn't look like that.
25:33.54
Brittany
Yeah. Yeah.
25:33.66
ahealthypush
So when you joined Panic 2 Peace, obviously, like you were like, I'm gonna do whatever, like I need to, I need to work through this. um
25:43.09
Brittany
Yeah.
25:44.06
ahealthypush
What was going through your head like when you joined and then like, you know, slowly moving through the program?
25:50.90
Brittany
Yeah. So like, um, everybody that I talked to about like, what I was going through, like, I mean, I had honestly started sharing about my mental health stuff on like, social media. a few years ago, honestly, because I would get a lot of like comments of like, Oh, like, look at your life. Like you do this. Like, Oh, must be nice to like go out to eat all the time or must be nicer traveling all the time. And I finally he was just like, man, like I'm using social media just like everybody else. I'm only showing the cool stuff. Not that I'm like sick to my stomach or that I'm like shaking in the car holding the oh shit bar.
26:20.16
ahealthypush
Hmm.
26:23.70
ahealthypush
Yep.
26:26.54
Brittany
Like just just to get there. So I started like sharing about my mental health and my panic and, um, and I've always been open with my husband. Um, and I did always find like comfort in that because there's always people that would reach out to me that I did not expect to have anxiety. And they were like, Oh my gosh, like I have suffered this my whole life, but we didn't talk about it then. Or like, ah like guys were like, I go through this too. And it was like, Oh my God, like what? And then the other people who were just like, I don't get it, you know? So.
26:59.49
Brittany
So it was super helpful to feel seen. And I think that i you know as much as like my husband and my friends and everybody wanted to help me, they were just like, oh, but I don't know what to do. you know like you like You've never needed anybody.
27:12.34
ahealthypush
Yeah.
27:14.53
Brittany
like i don't like what What is helpful? you know like Do you want me to drive? And then I'm like, well, sure. But then I might not be good in the restaurant either. i might that you know So I think I was just like, how do I like even explain like like I get why they're confused because that's why I'm confused too like I can't tell you what I need because I'm not really sure either um so after like just like following you for so long I mean like how many reels can you watch where you're like that's me that's me that's me that's me I'm like I'm like okay so I am Shannon like I was just like I saw the glass and I was
27:46.08
ahealthypush
Great.
27:54.80
Brittany
And I was honestly like, I can't really, I shouldn't do this. Like I had just have blown so much money on everything you could think of, anti anxiety. I was like, ah this thing that vibrates in your hand, like um beta blockers, like, I mean, anything, anything and everything.
28:04.48
ahealthypush
Mhm.
28:10.21
Brittany
I was seeing my regular doctor like every month. She was like, this is the, I've seen you more in the past few months than I have in like the 10 years you've been coming here. I was like desperate for like somebody to just, talk to me and I just like seeing you like your tattoos and hiking and doing things that I love and like all of them was like resonating with me. I was like that's how I am in the car. that' so I was just like okay like the doors are opening to this thing and I just have to do it.
28:36.39
ahealthypush
Yeah.
28:39.60
Brittany
like I just have to do whatever it takes to get in it like it just felt like the most seen you know and then we had that first session I wanted to throw up because I didn't really like Like I like talking about it with people that understand, you know, but I was just like, oh, like, are these people going to be like, think that I'm crazy? Or, I mean, it was seriously like so cool. When we got off the first call, I was like, oh my God, babe, like they're just like me. Like somebody was like, well, first of all, like other people had like tattoos.
29:12.66
Brittany
Like it was other like girls that I felt like looked like we looked like the same age group.
29:16.46
ahealthypush
Yep.
29:17.61
Brittany
Someone was like, oh, I used to like surf and do this. like I used to travel the country. like I used to fly everywhere. And I'm like, yes, yes. And it was just like like, I literally just got chills like thinking about it. I was like, oh my god, they get me. This isn't just like, it's not that I thought that I was like the only one. But like there's something about coming into a room of like all these other people that are like, wait, we would be friends.
29:36.16
ahealthypush
Yep.
29:40.93
Brittany
like I mean, like I would talk to that person every day. like i mean It just felt like, okay, like we're all all like understanding. There was other moms in the group. There was other moms that were like working their asses off to be able to be at their kids' things, even though they were making them sick. It just felt like, oh my God, these are my people. like I found them. We can actually have fun and try to heal together at the same time.
30:06.21
ahealthypush
Yeah. It's the coolest thing.
30:08.70
Brittany
but
30:09.60
ahealthypush
like You use that at rates. so I don't need to like reiterate, but it's it's wild when you get into a room full of people that you're like, holy shit, like we have so much in common.
30:19.66
Brittany
Yeah.
30:22.37
ahealthypush
You're not crazy. I'm not, I'm maybe, hey, maybe I'm not crazy. And we're gonna like actually do this together and have fun at the same time. And gosh, I remember so many sessions just like laughing my butt off and getting off and just being like, I wish I could be around these people all the time. um So that is such ah an amazing part of the program.
30:43.29
Brittany
yeah
30:47.66
ahealthypush
But ah How were you feeling because I know navigating through 10 weeks of anxiety talks and, and facing things like it was not easy for you.
30:57.05
Brittany
Yeah.
31:00.66
ahealthypush
Um, but you showed up like consistently.
31:01.40
Brittany
Yeah.
31:04.06
ahealthypush
I know I i knew without a doubt, like, Brittany's going to be there. She's going to do whatever she can. We'd see your daughter sometimes on video. Like you were there, you were in it, but like, how did it feel for you trying to navigate the healing journey?
31:11.89
Brittany
yeah Yeah. It's really like, it's, it's. like it didn't feel like as much work I think because it was like meeting with your girlfriends.
31:26.62
ahealthypush
Yeah.
31:28.42
Brittany
So that was cool like you knew that like I won't say names but like you knew that one of like one of us is always going to be making everyone laugh and like we all just were like sharing each other on and like it was like how did it go like how did it go last week like we all like knew what each other was working on that week. um I think so like that had like that fun aspect of it and I knew that if I didn't go to like every one that I would fall back like I know myself and I have to like really go all in so that was important for me. But I think what was like hard about the healing part of it is just like facing how you treat yourself. Because like, it was so many times I was like, what are you talking about? Like, you're amazing. Like, do you do you not hear what you just said? Like, you know, and you're like, what? It's like, you're doing so good. You just did this, this and this. Those are your biggest fears. And it's like, oh my God, like, that's what they're saying to me too. Like, we're, I think that just like facing how, I mean, one of the biggest things
32:25.90
Brittany
One huge thing, there was a lot, but one of the really big things that I took from like you saying to me was just that, oh my God, I just completely lost my dreidel.
32:36.40
ahealthypush
You're fine, you're fine.
32:38.89
Brittany
Oh my God, wait, what was it?
32:41.79
ahealthypush
Annie will work her her magic and like just clip it together.
32:48.87
Brittany
Wait, it was so important too. Oh my God. Oh my God, what were you saying?
32:53.42
ahealthypush
No, take a minute, you're fine. Like one yeah one of the biggest things, and something I said or one of the biggest things that helped you um in the program.
32:56.34
Brittany
ah alright
33:05.37
Brittany
Oh, yes, okay.
33:07.14
ahealthypush
Okay.
33:08.34
Brittany
yeah So one of the hardest things for me to face, which I didn't realize and I took from you was that when I would be panicking Um, or when like it would start to like build up and I would feel it coming as I would be like, it's okay. It's okay, Brittany, nothing's wrong. It's okay. It's okay. I thought that I was being nice to myself, but what I didn't realize was that I was just like negating my feelings again. Like I wasn't validating that I was feeling up by because to me, it didn't seem like that was like being mean to myself. You know what I mean? And I was like, Oh my God, that's what I do every time. I don't realize that I'm pushing it away.
33:45.43
Brittany
were running from it by being like, it's fine. Like I would basically go in the bathroom, look in the mirror, like splash water on my face. And I would be like, okay, it's fine. Everything's fine.
33:53.58
ahealthypush
Yeah.
33:54.33
Brittany
You're like, you're doing good. You're doing great. Everything's great. Like, you know, it just like this.
33:58.68
ahealthypush
Yeah.
33:59.45
Brittany
And it was like, that's not, you were like, that's not, you're like not validating your own feelings. You're just, and I was like, whoa.
34:07.97
ahealthypush
Yeah, it's such a it's another sort of coping mechanism right that we want to be okay.
34:08.30
Brittany
but Yeah.
34:12.41
ahealthypush
We want everything to be okay.
34:14.38
Brittany
yeah
34:14.90
ahealthypush
And we're just like trying to convince ourselves like you're fine. Everything's fine. I mean, I remember walking down the street and having full blown panic and be like Shannon, you're fine. Everything's fine. You're you're okay. And like, I'm internally exploding. I am not okay.
34:30.24
Brittany
Yeah.
34:31.69
ahealthypush
And I am like, somehow trying to convince myself that everything's fine. And I'm not panicking.
34:35.91
Brittany
Okay.
34:36.93
ahealthypush
and And like, I'm good. And yeah, making that shift rate of actually, you know, people are always like, Well, how do I people say, right, make space for it, like, allow it to be there. And it's like, this is one thing that you can do, right, that helps to make space that allows you to be with it is really just validating how you're feeling, like not trying to talk yourself into being okay and just, I don't feel okay.
34:57.15
Brittany
Yeah.
35:00.90
ahealthypush
like I am panicking and you know I'm feeling super anxious, but we're going to work through this. like Not that you know invalidation and just, you're fine. Everything's fine. It's okay. It's like, heck no. Nothing is okay right now.
35:12.82
Brittany
Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes if someone doesn't like point that out to you, like it wasn't like I was blatantly being mean to myself. Like it didn't seem like I wasn't taking care of myself, you know? So like, if I hadn't said that out loud and heard you say it the other way, like I may not have, I may have still been like, it's okay. Like, cause I'm like, it's okay.
35:30.69
ahealthypush
Yeah.
35:31.54
Brittany
It's okay. You know, like, no, that's not like, it's okay to feel the way you're feeling and you have to otherwise it's going right back down to pushing it down until I exploded into a panic attack again.
35:43.44
ahealthypush
Yeah.
35:43.96
Brittany
So that was, that was a big deal. Yeah. Like facing just like how much of how much we put on our s ourselves and make it worse for ourselves accidentally.
35:49.01
ahealthypush
Hmm.
35:54.88
Brittany
That was like tough stuff to like face and learn.
35:58.92
ahealthypush
Yeah. And I, you made so many amazing shifts with just like changing your, your approach to yourself and like actually being able to see what you were doing. And cause other people call it out right in the group and they will sort of call you out and you're like, Oh, wait, yeah, I am doing this stuff for, you know, I am, you know, i've I've changed the way I'm approaching myself. I am being much kinder and It's sometimes other people pointing it out and recognizing it that then allows it to sort of click.
36:27.62
Brittany
Yeah.
36:29.66
ahealthypush
But you made so many of those shifts, but then I remember later in the program, right, which everyone has their moment and it's always very fun to me when I see this, you had the moment of like, okay, um I actually have to do some of these things that I've been avoiding and I don't want to do. And I could see the level of like resistance and just say the feeling pretty terrified. like Can you talk a little bit about that?
36:59.82
ahealthypush
Because I know you were like, I'm good with not doing these things. like i Maybe I'm good with never being that independent person again.
37:04.22
Brittany
Yeah.
37:09.24
Brittany
Yeah. Yeah. Well, cause you're like, okay. Well, the idea of exposure therapy is like scary. Like so many people will say to me things like, like, Like I love, like, you know, I love to weight lift. I love power lifting that like feels really good for my body and my brain.
37:23.46
ahealthypush
Yeah.
37:26.76
Brittany
And so, you know, someone will be like, why don't you just drive to the gym again? Cause I was driving to the gym, right? Like while I was pregnant, even like right up till the pandemic, like when it closed down. Um, but it's like, but now it's like, no, that's not, that's not going to work. Like, or like, just go to the grocery store. Like, no, the grocery store causes me just as much anxiety. It's just different. Like, so like, to me, like exposure your therapy, when you hear it, it just sounds like. This isn't a good idea. Like, you know, I would feel like myself, like, okay, I can do this tribe, but like,
37:53.03
ahealthypush
Yeah.
37:57.05
Brittany
I don't want to. I don't want to feel that feeling again. Not that I don't want to be able to drive there again. It's just that it's like I'm ready to go out the door and then I'm like, no, I don't want to feel that feeling again. I'm like scared, waiting for it. So I really was like, okay, I'll try this. I'll try this. Like even like my therapist, I'm still in therapy. I've been going for years and she was like, just try like once a week driving. Like just go to like, you know, like naming places. And I was like, You know, like I can't do it.
38:28.07
ahealthypush
Yeah.
38:28.40
Brittany
But when we talked that time and you were just like, okay, well, what's something that you love doing? And I was like, well, I love taking Gianna to the bar. And she really said, why don't you just try to do that one sneak? And I was like, we'll see. you
38:43.98
ahealthypush
That's a nice idea Shannon, pass.
38:44.46
Brittany
yeah
38:50.33
Brittany
That's cute. But. five But like, you know, it was a good idea because it is something that I like to do. So I knew that when I would get out of the car, like it would feel good. Like I love being outside. I love going to the park with her. It's not a far drive. Um, so it was like, maybe this is attainable. So one, it was putting it in a different way. It wasn't like, you know, go do a task or go do a tour. It was like, go do something like, like special saying, it makes you both happy. She lights up and when then she lights up, you know, obviously then you're happy.
39:24.19
Brittany
And so I was like, okay, I think I could do this.
39:28.15
ahealthypush
Yeah.
39:28.15
Brittany
Um, and so, and also like, I felt like accountable to you. Like, even though, cause that's something that helps too, right? Like you weren't like check in, like i you better do it. Like, but I'm like, well, I don't want to let her down. You know, like, oh, this'll make Shannon proud too. You know, so like helps you feel like, We're doing the right thing for everybody.
39:47.36
ahealthypush
Yeah. Yeah.
39:49.49
Brittany
So I started.
39:49.98
ahealthypush
And you do, you get that accountability from not just me, but the group, because like you said, people will say, and they'll ask like, how'd it go?
39:54.87
Brittany
Yeah.
39:57.16
ahealthypush
Did you do the thing?
39:57.42
Brittany
yeah ah look Yeah.
39:58.00
ahealthypush
Like what happened?
40:01.81
Brittany
So, you know, I, and also just the motivation from the group, you know, like when people were like traveling across the country and we were like, you've got this, you've got this. And it's like, you did it. Like, it's like, okay. So she's checking things off her list. Like, see, like we can do this. We can do our things.
40:17.31
ahealthypush
Yeah.
40:17.52
Brittany
So yeah, I've been driving every week. Um, I even tackled a very hard mission for my myself. Like after doing it, Oh, what you said, the other thing that you said that really stuck with me is you were like, I promise the more you do it, the more you'll want to do more. I'm like, it'll, you'll remember how safe you feel. And like, I hear that in my head when I drive. So. the first few times when we mentioned the bark. The first time my intention is just to pull up to it and then go home.
40:48.48
Brittany
Because you even said that to me. You're like, just get there the first time.
40:50.87
ahealthypush
right
40:50.92
Brittany
Like don't even stress yourself out. Like don't, don't make like ridiculous goals for yourself. Just make small, small goals, which is like my new thing in life. Just like check one thing off a day. Like, even if it's brushing your teeth, just check one thing off a day. Just, it'll make you feel better. So I remember the first time we pulled up and I was just like, okay, if I did it. And then Gianna was like, the park. And I was like, oh my gosh, windows. Of course.
41:14.53
ahealthypush
I should have blindfolded you. Why didn't I blindfold you?
41:18.66
Brittany
and It's fine. You're going to the park and it was great. So I never actually had a practice day, but, but each time afterwards, I would like feel good in the car.
41:21.88
ahealthypush
ah
41:27.65
Brittany
It was like getting that one piece done. And then even just like being out in the open at the park, which, you know, like being like in a fully, like if you have anxiety, you also have this like thing where you're in a big open area. Sometimes that can feel like a lot too.
41:39.64
ahealthypush
yeah
41:42.50
Brittany
So it's like getting through those two things. And then it's like, okay, like I feel good. I have sun on my face. My kid and I are running around. And so then I started driving around a little bit more, longer a little bit more. But a few weeks in, I was like, okay, I'm going to CVS like, And if you're not only, you know, that is my least favorite place. I had a panic attack in CVS during the pandemic because it was a very scary place to be at that time. And I sat in the dry for which I do not like being stuck in traffic.
42:12.89
Brittany
I do not like that feeling of being trapped or like not being able to get out of the line, but it's like better than going in. So like, you're like, which, which poison do I want?
42:21.46
ahealthypush
Right.
42:23.04
Brittany
So I did the CVS line and we were dancing in the car. I like videoed it. I like added to show this to Shannon. I'm so proud of myself. Um, so yeah, it's just been like baby steps. Um, just doing like a little drive.
42:34.55
ahealthypush
Yeah, and it wasn't nearly I remember like it wasn't nearly as bad as you thought, right?
42:40.51
Brittany
Yeah.
42:41.14
ahealthypush
Yeah.
42:41.53
Brittany
Yeah. Because I've been taking the little steps of like things that I liked.
42:44.33
ahealthypush
Yeah.
42:45.51
Brittany
I think that if I done like CVS first, I might've scared myself, you know, like I just try to look at it as like, if you go too far, like like it's good to push yourself, but I think like if you push yourself too far or like, I remember in class somebody was saying that they were feeling sick one day, but they still pushed themselves and they were sick. And so it was that much worse for them. And I'm like, that's the stuff that like, you know, like sometimes we're so hard on ourselves that we're like, no, just do it. and It's like, you have a stomach ache, like you don't have to push yourself today, you know? And I think like, it's like really good to like learn that stuff.
43:14.97
ahealthypush
Yeah.
43:18.70
Brittany
So that way you don't like, it might like make you more scared to try again when it's like, maybe you should just rest today. Like it's okay.
43:25.99
ahealthypush
Yeah.
43:26.42
Brittany
So yeah.
43:27.97
ahealthypush
So true. I love that.
43:28.39
Brittany
so yeah
43:30.38
ahealthypush
Yeah, the baby steps. And I think the big thing, right, is this, instead of this forceful, I have to sort of create these um tasks, like you sort of said, what are some things that I can do that I really love to do? And those value driven actions really give you some incentives and motivation. um They make it so that you actually want to do the things. And then, and of course, too, I tell people,
43:55.01
Brittany
Yeah.
43:57.13
ahealthypush
they're going to be things maybe it's everything you don't even want to do anything you're like yeah i love taking my daughter places and i want to take your places but like i don't even want to do that because the anxiety is so bad it's like of course of course but maybe after the second third fourth time you start to feel that again like oh i do actually enjoy this oh i do actually want to be doing this and and you stay committed to it for that reason
44:18.13
Brittany
Yeah.
44:21.47
ahealthypush
But it's like that this is why we talk so much about the consistent small steps because you've got to take them for it to you know build up the motivation and the confidence and and the trust and all of that stuff. So I mean, you've been really nailing it.
44:34.41
Brittany
Yeah.
44:37.29
ahealthypush
You're one. You'll send me videos. like You'll share. I love that because it's like you're actually letting yourself Be in it, be vulnerable, be where you're at, and be proud of yourself because all these baby steps that might seem and look so small to other people on the outside are like massive freaking leaps that are just incredible to see you making from somebody who was struggling just to get out the door, right? It's like insane to me to look at somebody when they're minimizing and I'm just like, what are you?
45:06.62
Brittany
Yeah.
45:11.05
ahealthypush
What? You are taking your daughter to the park by yourself.
45:12.61
Brittany
Yeah.
45:17.03
Brittany
Yeah.
45:17.31
ahealthypush
You're going through a drive-through line. You're purposely putting yourself in a stuck situation. like It's amazing.
45:24.02
Brittany
Yeah. yeah
45:25.43
ahealthypush
Yeah.
45:26.13
Brittany
yeah Yeah. And I do like having little like documented things like on my phone. Like I'm sure people think it's weird, but like for someone struggling, like it may be helpful for them too. Like I have pictures of myself like crying or panicking in the car. Um, like I don't like, like share those typically, but like for me to like go back through and it's like, Oh, like remember that like you couldn't even. like leave the house. It's like good to see or then like seeing a memory pop up of me like dancing in the car and happy and like it's like oh my god okay like I feel like it's like nice sometimes sometimes to like track that self for yourself because it's so easy to be harder on yourself than anyone else you know so if you can like hold on to those pieces or even just like keeping yourself accountable by sharing and feeling okay.
46:02.83
ahealthypush
idea
46:11.41
Brittany
Doing the things.
46:13.12
ahealthypush
Yeah, I love that. And it's such a good way on those hard days to go back and see like, Oh, no, like I am making progress. I've made so much progress.
46:22.71
Brittany
Yeah.
46:23.31
ahealthypush
And i yeah, I just think your journey has been so cool to watch because coming into the program, like you just immediately were like, I'm in it. I'm invested. I'm committed. I'm going to do this. And you've stuck with it. And just to see you continuing afterwards, like I know, you know, you have more of that self-accountability there too. You're not just like waiting on, you know, me or other people to be like, Hey, Brittany, you're like doing more of the things that you want to do and the things that are important to you because you want them and you're not willing anymore, right, to say, Nah, I'm just gonna
46:57.41
ahealthypush
Keep going and see what happens like it's it's been really incredible to watch So I'm curious if somebody is like in the place that you were at last fall like Everything just feels like it's crumbling like I have nothing.
47:08.89
Brittany
and
47:12.36
ahealthypush
I don't know how the heck I'm ever gonna get better What would you tell that person?
47:21.34
Brittany
Oh, doesn't feel like it's gonna get better. But I think it's like so important to just know that you're not alone and that like, you know what, why this class like was so different than other things was like,
47:30.71
ahealthypush
Yep.
47:38.79
Brittany
I think that, you know, even being smart, I feel like you still just always think that you're gonna be able to just beat it. Like you're gonna be able to turn anxiety off. Like you're just like, it's like whatever I do, like, okay, like i'm like meds, therapy, all that stuff is great. But like I really had tried everything because I was like, it's gonna go away. Like I just need to go back to when I didn't have it. I think it's just like important to know that like it's okay to have it and you just have to like take it in. It's a piece of you. Like like you said, like anxiety is not, It's not meant to hurt you, it's meant to protect you.
48:10.93
Brittany
We just sometimes, sometimes it's really on edge.
48:13.67
ahealthypush
yeah
48:15.33
Brittany
but So I think it's just like so important to just like know that you're definitely not alone and there's nothing wrong with you. It's going to get better. It's just about looking at it differently.
48:26.42
ahealthypush
Yeah?
48:27.56
Brittany
It's really just about like a mindset shift and just knowing that you can get through it. You just have to hold it, feel it,
48:34.46
ahealthypush
Mm-hmm.
48:37.75
Brittany
cry, yell, punch a pillow, like whatever you gotta do, and um and you'll be okay.
48:44.37
ahealthypush
Yeah. I love that. And I mean, I think, too, you've been so good with holding this space for yourself and this compassion, because I know, obviously, it's really hard to struggle. And you're like, I just want to be done with it. I do not want this to, I don't want this to be what my life looks like anymore.
48:59.83
Brittany
Yeah.
49:02.14
ahealthypush
Like I'm done.
49:02.69
Brittany
yeah
49:02.78
ahealthypush
You wish you could flip a switch, but that's something too I saw you make a big shift in. It's like I, you know, you could recognize I can't flip this switch. But I'm going to keep taking these small actions and, you know, you're undoing years of not so healthy stuff.
49:12.52
Brittany
Yeah. yeah
49:20.05
ahealthypush
And it's going to take some time.
49:21.86
Brittany
Yeah.
49:22.17
ahealthypush
But where you're really doing the the best work is being consistent, taking the small steps, consistently, like being kind to yourself. You're You've done so amazing and I'm just so happy that I keep get to keep being on this journey with you because we're like now forever, forever friends.
49:42.17
Brittany
Yeah.
49:42.68
ahealthypush
But I just.
49:42.87
Brittany
Oh my God. I'm so grateful for you. Like you just made it feel like so, like it's such a safe space and like, and that it was like normal, like, like you're real.
49:45.27
ahealthypush
yeah
49:52.15
Brittany
It's just like, Oh my God, we're not the only one who does that in the car.
49:56.73
ahealthypush
Right.
49:56.77
Brittany
It just feels so comfortable to know that you're not alone and you can't like, like, I want to see you like hiking. I'm like, okay. I'm going to be able to hike again one day. Cause like to me right now, that's like, like, bye hiking. Like you just, you just are like, either I need this to turn off and go away, or you're just like, I'm never going to do anything I like again. Also, you know, so it's like good to just like type baby steps, like keep falling along, keep yourself accountable.
50:15.77
ahealthypush
Yeah.
50:23.08
Brittany
I'm i'm just so grateful I found you and I'm, and that I took the class cause it really is like, it was a game changer for me.
50:25.74
ahealthypush
No.
50:30.44
ahealthypush
ah Well, I'm so proud of you, Brittany, and I really appreciate you coming on and being so vulnerable and sharing, and we're going to stay in touch. I am just so, so excited to like be a part of your journey, but to see, like, truly see it and for you to be able to see it and recognize, like, you're doing so dang amazing. And it's not just for you, it's for your family, for your daughter. Like, your daughter has the best mom in the world, and you're just amazing. so Before I cry, I will most definitely talk to you soon.
50:58.65
Brittany
Thank you so much.
51:03.75
ahealthypush
and Yeah.
51:04.85
Brittany
Yes, thank you so much.