If you’re on my email list, you’ve already heard a little bit about the solo trip I took recently… But today I'm going to tell you how it all went! If you had asked me ten years ago if I’d ever go on a solo trip I would’ve said “Heck no!”, because even doing the everyday things was a struggle. As you know, back then I was really struggling with anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia. I would’ve never thought this was something I’d do, let alone want to do!
But that’s exactly why I want to share the details of my trip with you today. Because when I was navigating agoraphobia, I rarely did things alone. But now, I have the courage to do things that are uncomfortable, scary, and unfamiliar. And the same will be true for you, too!
My Solo Trip and Not Letting Fear Choose
So about a month ago, I booked an Airbnb in the White Mountains in New Hampshire. And if you know anything about me, it’s that I love hiking and the outdoors (and helping others build a healthy relationship with anxiety, of course!), so I wanted to make sure my solo trip was filled with lots of nature and hiking. When I first booked the Airbnb, I was so excited! But shortly after my mind started to go to the place that brains often go to... I started asking myself “Is it smart to be going to the mountains by yourself? Is it safe? Can I handle this?”... and so on.
My mind was trying to come up with all sorts of reasons to keep me in my comfort zone. My brain was throwing any doubts it could find at me! Two days before the trip, the Airbnb host said that something in the Airbnb needed to be fixed, and wouldn’t be repaired until after my stay. And immediately I thought “this is a sign that I shouldn’t go!". I’m not going to lie, I was tempted to cancel. Ultimately, I decided to do it anyway!
Also, my daughter had gotten sick the day before I was set to leave, and at that moment, I was convinced I wouldn’t be going. But my husband, Adam, assured me that sticking to my plans was the right choice. So, despite things feeling a little scary and uncomfortable about this trip (staying in a home by myself in the mountains, being away from Amelia for a few days, hiking by myself, and not knowing how it’d all look)… I packed up my car and I didn’t let fear choose.
I think it’s so important to remember that our brains want us to choose comfort over discomfort. And that’s not because you’re struggling with an anxiety disorder… it’s because you’re a human being. Comfort might feel safe because it’s familiar, but discomfort doesn’t mean you’re not safe. And that’s why when things feel hard, it’s likely because you’re doing something unfamiliar… and allowing yourself to feel these feelings means you’re taking healthy action!
And at this point, you might be wondering… Soo, how'd the trip go?! And I can honestly say, the trip went great! I felt some unease about staying alone at night, but I also enjoyed it! I enjoyed the quiet, read a good book, and ate alone at a cute little restaurant. I hiked without experiencing any anxiety, and I felt so present! So I want you to remember that there are amazing things on the other side of discomfort, my friend. And although it can be so hard to face fear and anxiety, it gives you lots of peace, joy, and freedom in return. So let this be your reminder to push yourself to take the step that you don’t feel ready for. And let yourself see just how truly capable you are!
Some pictures from my trip!
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