How often do you ask yourself these questions… What is it going to take for me to recover? What tools or actions will actually help me to get there? How am I going to get from where I am now to where I want to be? Who can help me? When am I going to recover? Will it ever happen?
Is it weekly, or is it more like daily? If it’s daily, it’s okay! I absolutely understand! I, too, used to ask myself these questions on a daily basis. And it makes sense, because you just want to have it all figured out and stop struggling with the anxious thoughts, the symptoms, panic, and fears!
But when we consume ourselves with the what, how, who, and when, we end up completely overlooking our WHY - why we're working so hard to heal and overcome. Don't get me wrong, the others are important, but if you don't stop to acknowledge why you're working so hard to recover it's going to make your journey even harder. Because the truth is, when we have a why, it's a motivator. It's something that helps to push us when the what, how, who, and when is unclear.
When somebody asks you to do something, you likely want to know the why you're doing it, right? And this is especially true when somebody asks you to do something that might seem undesirable in the moment. My daughter, Amelia, just recently turned 3. And when she was 2-2 1/2, I could ask her to do nearly anything and she'd just do it (even most times with a smile). Now, there is often a "Why?" Whether it's me asking her to get dressed, or to pick up her toys, or to get in the car. She insists on knowing the why. And it makes sense. I mean, how often do you do something without knowing why you're doing it?
You know those moments when you're pushing yourself to do the hard and uncomfortable stuff? Or when you're facing a fear... Or when you're leaning into the discomfort and uncertainty... Well, this is going to sound like a silly question, but I'm going to ask it anyway! Do you know why you're continuing to push yourself even though it's so uncomfortable and hard? Like, when was the last time that you asked yourself this question… Why am I working so hard to recover?
Your WHY is so important. Your why is what will help you to keep taking action no matter how hard it feels, or how hard it gets. Acknowledging and reminding yourself of your WHY is not only motivating, but it also helps you to reestablish your path and your direction and helps to define your purpose, and it actually helps to make some decisions and things less hard.
I’ve gotta be really honest with you - I have to remind myself often of my why often - why I’m here right now writing this blog post. Why I started A Healthy Push while working full-time, being a mom of a toddler, and trying to balance all of the other things in life.
Wanna know one of my whys? Well, I’m gonna share it with you either way!
If I stopped showing up here, or on social media, or in all of the other ways that I show up, who would potentially continue to struggle and not have the tools, the hope, the motivation, and inspiration that they need to keep pushing forward and heal?
YOU! You are one of my biggest whys! The thought of me giving up, knowing that it could prevent you from recovering, well, that’s enough to keep me pushing myself no matter how hard it is, or how hard it gets!
And my whys when I was struggling with anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia... Well, they were to be able to travel, to have healthy relationships, and to be able to heal so that I could help others to do the same. I used to say to my mom, "When I push past this, I’m going to help as many people as I can to do the same!" At the time, did I actually think that it was possible to be where I am today? Absolutely not! But I wanted it so bad and reminded myself of my whys often which helped me to keep going.
What is your why? Why are you working so hard to overcome anxiety, panic disorder, or agoraphobia? Is it so that you can experience peace? Is it so that you can travel and go on adventures? Is it so that you can be the best mom, dad, partner, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandparent (p.s. You are already a great mom, dad, partner, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandparents, anxiety and all!)? Is it so that you can live out your dreams?
Maybe you even have more than one why! In my recent live trainings that I did, here are some of the whys that people shared:
“To fully enjoy and experience my life.”
“To be there for my children and spouse.”
“To be independent and free.”
“To go on adventures with my family.”
“To feel safe in the world again.”
“To be successful in my career!”
“I want to be able to sing on stage like I did for years!”
Write down your why somewhere that you’ll see often and say it out loud! Remind yourself of why you’re pushing yourself. Your why is worth it. YOU are worth it!
Your why matters so much! If you’re constantly focused on the how, what, and the when, and you don’t stop to acknowledge why you’re pushing yourself, it's going to deter you from healing and it’ll actually slow your progress. Don’t get me wrong, these things are obviously important, but your why is what will help you to keep taking action even when it’s hard and feels so uncomfortable!
Keep taking the small steps! You are capable.